Once upon a time, I had a lovely party. The guests arrived, we snacked on cheese, crackers, various tasty treats, and sipped our cocktails while chatting about this and that. As we chatted, our wax melted and there was a hustle and a bustle as people poured freshly melted wax, wax pellets, and essential oils into various containers and vessels. The pots of water boiled and splashed, boiling hot wax flew through the air, and wax pellets were crushed underfoot. It was a lovely affair and enjoyed by all, but by the time it was over, every potential surface in my kitchen was covered in wax, including the inside of my garbage disposal.
To recover from #waxagedon, I needed several things that money could not buy: a patient partner, good friends, and plenty of time. The rest could be solved by things I already owned and the internet. And so, without further delay, I bring to you, for your referencing purposes….
The Hooch & Home Guide To Wax Removal
This is very simple and requires three simple tools: paper towels, a credit card, and a hair dryer. First remove the thick layer of wax by heating it with the hair dryer and then gently scraping the majority of the wax from the floor with the credit card. Then heat the remaining wax with the hair dryer and wipe from the floor, cabinet, or cabinet knob or pull with a paper towel (you can compost this!!!!). This is best done with friends, beer, and lots of good humor. Afterwards your floor is perfect for moonwalking on.
This will require a tea pot, water, rubber gloves, a credit card, dish soap, a sponge, paper towels, and Goo Gone (or other related product). For some reason the hair dryer trick does not work with granite. Physics or whatever. Instead you must use boiling water to heat the wax, and then again use a credit card to gently remove the majority of the wax. Then go over the surface with boiling water and a soapy sponge while wearing rubber gloves to protect your hands from the hot water. Once you have removed as much wax as possible with this method, a waxy film will remain on your countertop. Use a product like Goo Gone on a paper towel to wipe away the film without damaging the seal on your granite. This product smells like it should be no where near anything consumed by a human, so go over your countertop again with hot soapy water. Your countertop will shine like the top of the Chrysler Building. DO NOT use steel wool or anything that rough because it could damage the seal on your granite.
Anything made of wood or metal that is small enough can be cleaned of wax in the freezer, or by dunking it in boiling water. If using the freezer method leave overnight. Wax will begin to lift from the item and easily come off the next day. When using boiling water, dunk item in boiling water and then use hot soapy water to clean item.
This will require an iron and a paper towel. It’s that simple. Place the paper towel on top of the fabric (if the fabric is thin like a t-shirt, put a paper towel on both sides). Place a hot iron on top of the fabric and hold in place until the paper begins to absorb the warmed wax. Rub the iron around a bit to help collect more wax. Repeat with a fresh paper towel until the paper towel stops absorbing more wax. My carpet is as good as new now!
good as new!
If you are cleaning lots of stuff with wax, or pouring waxy water into your garbage disposal, your disposal may clog with hardened wax. Fear not! Pour boiling water down the disposal. Stick a bottle brush with soap on it down there and swish around down there to dislodge any wax remaining (while the disposal is off of course!!!). That’s it!
Sometimes the universe aligns, as it has with this ALREADY existing cocktail from Savoy Stomp. This cocktail, like the candles that created #waxagedon, is simplicity itself. Pure delicious Old Tom Gin gets a dash of flavor from some orange bitters.
- 2 oz Old Tom Gin
- 3 dashes orange bitters
Light homemade candle. Shake ingredients in a Boston Shaker with ice. Strain into a martini glass. Sip and enjoy.